Tuesday, June 21, 2016

As many of you know, I have recently started what I like to call “the medical merry-go-round,” seeing many different specialists in the past few weeks and more in the coming weeks.  I had to have surgery a few weeks ago which went very well, but as usual for a guy my age, more medical issues have arrived.

I’ve learned a lot of lessons the past few weeks and being able to compare my health care with the veterinary care we offer, all I can say is:

Do any living, breathing people work at insurance companies?  I have called mine several times, usually while on their website looking for answers.  Usually buried on page 67 of the website I find my answer before someone answers.  And the on-hold messages are actually looped, bringing you back to the same menu with no answers available.  You ought to check that.

When checking to see if your health care provider is in your insurance network, guessing is the best option.  The health care provider will tell you to call your insurance provider (see above) and the website may not list them but has a disclaimer at the bottom saying all approved health care providers may not be listed and to contact your health care provider…..another never-ending loop.

Why is everyone so interested in my birthday? I know for a fact that I was not the only person born on that date?  What if I don’t remember my birthday?  No health care?  It’s also listed on my driver’s license…see below.

Do you really need to copy my driver’s license and insurance card every time I have an appointment?  Why do you not believe me when I tell you once again that nothing has changed?  You greeted me when I came in by my name!

Eight pages of new client forms, some front and back?  Really?  Some would be able to be completed if only you would read my driver’s license and insurance card.

Price shopping for flea and tick medications prior to performing surgery on me did not endear me to you. 

Asking me about your cat who is urinating outside the litter box was a really nice conversation, but why don’t you focus on why my oxygen saturation level was low?  And take your cat to your vet!

And speaking of nurse anesthetists, that story about one of your friends performing a surgical procedure on a cat while using succinylcholine only…. I can only hope this was just an acquaintance and not a peer or a mentor.  You know and I know, that cat felt every bit of pain during that surgery but the succinylcholine did not allow him to move or respond.  He was paralyzed, not anesthetized.  He was awake during the entire process.  No wonder he died.  Your friend is a sadistic jerk that should have his license pulled.  I should have fired your sorry butt and demanded another anesthetist.  I was stunned someone with your knowledge would think that was comical.

  Recovery nurses, you rock!

 Physicians, get your exam rooms cleaned better.  You have dust bunnies multiplying under your hydraulic exam tables.  Just raise them and look.  I did.

Physicians, it really isn’t a physical exam when the only part of me you touch is my hand when you shake it.  Reviewing someone else’s medical notes isn’t a physical.  What if they were inaccurate?  It will be interesting to get that bill.  Then I'll be able to know how much a hand shake is worth.

Nurses -- By the way, those crackers you gave me post-op to see if I could keep them down?  Didn’t work…..lost them somewhere on I-44 on the way home.  Thanks for the memory.

No wonder so many of my clients say I take better care of their pets than their own physicians.

Dr. Hackworth

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